I am feeling really sad about the news I posted yesterday. I don't want Katya to have to wait any longer for a family; every month is such a long time when you've only lived for 4 years. When I thought we'd get her in September, there was so much to prepare so quickly that I had very little time to think about Katya being in the orphanage. But now that it may be what seems like forever until we can go to her, I feel so helpless and so sad for her. And somehow she has become much more real to me, and I feel like she is already a part of our family. And I just want to get to her before her development is any further delayed or before any more psychological damage is done. But I know that it is not in my control.

But we're praying for her and thinking of her all of the time. Even Sara is pretending to write her letters. Yesterday, she spoke as she scribbled, "For Katya- Love you." It is amazing to me that my 20 month old comprehends so much of this process. And I can't wait for her to have a sister.